Four years old. This one stings a little. An overwhelmingly good and sad feeling, if I’m being completely honest. She’s happy and healthy, so to focus on anything else is a waste of time, but I cannot get past these feelings as we get ready to celebrate her this weekend.
My ‘baby’ is turning four. The baby fat is long gone. She needs us a little less each day. And we can’t even believe some of the things that come out of her mouth. Her imagination is out of control in the most awesome way. She’s brilliant and kind. Incredibly sweet, with a heart of pure gold.
How can I be so extremely happy and proud of the little girl she has become, yet cling to a sliver of sadness knowing that my first born is not my baby anymore? Having feelings like that, on opposite ends of the spectrum, coexisting has been a constant throughout my motherhood journey. So maybe other moms beat themselves up a little too, when all of the amazing emotions rush to the surface, but sadness creeps in to remind you that time goes by too fast. It can’t just be me…
This past year was HUGE for her. She started preschool, made some new friends, is an absolute sponge. She has flashes of teenage attitude but comes back from it fast. She truly changed in BIG and BOLD ways.
Each year goes by faster than the last. Change comes after all of us, ready or not. In her next year –a gift to the whole family– I’m vowing to find ways to slow it all down more often.
Happy Birthday, lovely girl.
You are everything we could have ever hoped for in the one who made us parents.